Just looking past the excitement presented by interesting distractions and seeing the negative emotional impact and damage caused to my overall well being, brew up enough inner motivation to make me behave differently and stay focused on a chosen important task. Well, that’s for my intention, BUT if only it was so easy…
Can you relate to the fierce feelings of frustration when you are unable to experience satisfaction for the day’s activities, dropping into bed exhausted, physically and mentally drained?
For sure, it might mean stretching our selves into learning a new skill, trying something uncomfortable and even a little frightening. Dealing with ADHD challenges (and disappointments!) are often like fighting fire with fire!
One huge relief which came with getting my self ADHD-educated, is the realisation that I am not alone in this daily struggle.
I now know to (oftentimes radically!) downsize my expectations on how much I want to get done before it’s time to call a halt for the day and prepare dinner. Coming to terms with my own ADHD is about becoming more aware of – and being more realistic – with regards to the time it will take for me to complete particular tasks, as well as more awareness of my energy reserve levels. The ADHD traits of distractibility and multitasking devour one’s available energy!
Will you be willing to join me in stopping to resist our ADHD-like nature? Admitting the truth and call the problem by its name, is definitely one way to ensure that we don’t screw up right away as it enables us to learn coping skills to improve the havoc causing situations.
Acquiring the habit of staying focussed on one task requires vigorous and rigorous commitment for an ADDer
Although our struggles don’t make sense to non-ADDers, having learned that the problem is something mostly I have to battle my way through, granted me to be OK with that too by now!
Also, don’t give yourself a hard time trying to understand why the completion of and execution of simple tasks, (which others take for granted, e.g. putting your clothes away, getting dressed, paying bills, opening mail, having a conversation, answering your phone, washing dishes, moving around between different rooms, etc.) can feel like climbing Mt. Everest to you. These are usually both boring and distracting tasks, hugely complicating our steering through the day.
This might at first sound counter productive to trying to stay on task, but take note.
Allow yourself to do something that makes you happy regularly. ADHD challenges can suck the joy out of life and it is part of crucial self care to weave having fun into your daily activities to keep you energised and interested. Especially as it seems there are never enough time in a day, make the time to recharge.
Take care to not set yourself up for trouble:
Like allowing yourself to reinforce the habit of multitasking. If you’re off guard, it may well soon leave you with it as a daily way of life and with an unsatisfying trail of incompletion, procrastination and resentment.
That is NOT the experience that you are looking for, right?
Give yourself the gift of having a form of support wherever you can to help you through the tasks and struggles. You don’t have to manage everything by yourself, neither do you have to invest your efforts into the empty illusion of “doing it perfect”. Give yourself words of encouragement throughout , like “things will get better”, “not yet” (compared to “never”), “well done”, “genius!”
Our ultimate goal is to become a master artist at life.
We are the creators of our own legacies and experiences. Choose to give yourself what you need to be at your best.
You are moving forward step by step. Acknowledge how far you have come. YOUR ADHD IS NOT IN CHARGE.
Start and reinforce HABITS that will support you not to slip back.
The habit of labelling tasks, is a powerful strategy for busting the “But first – Syndrome” which allows our attention to get diverted to low-priority-unfulfilling-but-more-interesting-guilt-causing-time-and-energy-consuming-nonsense-tasks.
Labels create pre-determined expectations, therefore forceful and determined labelling of an important, planned task as “That’s what I’m doing now”, can keep our minds focussed on the intended completion thereof.
All other upcoming urges and tasks need to be labelled as either
- BS and NOT what I’m doing now
- Important, but NOT what I’m doing now
See how this trick can help us to have fewer undone things which haunt us into negative rumination?
Watch this excellent ADD CRUSHER™ video here