“Tell me what you want, and I’ll do my best to become it…Just don’t get mad at me.”
Is this attitude hampering the flow of your creative ideas on the job? If it does, it means that it’s not the only area of your life affected by this people pleasing tendency and approval seeking behaviour.
ADDers are more often than not, far more sensitive to rejection, criticism, teasing and their own perceptions of having failed or fallen short than neurotypical people. Disapproval from others hurts more. ADHD emotional responses are intense and are taking up enormous amounts of time and energy.
An ADDer might experience the emotional pain of perceived “failure” almost unbearable, causing their lives to remain stunted and devoid of taking chances and letting their natural creative juices flow.
Despite having learned to hide it well, emotional disruptions are the most impairing aspects of ADHD at any age and
is very much part of every aspect of an ADDer’s life.
What might be perceived as depression, might well be the ADHD nervous system’s instantaneous response to the trigger of rejection, a condition called rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD). Runaway emotions are devastating, creating fearful personal interactions, letting one lose track of your own needs and wants.
Awareness of the emotional intensity that is so much a part of an ADDer’s life, is vital to the proper control and overall management of all other ADHD challenges.
Giving in to emotions brings all the other ADHD challenges on,
so it is smart to understand how you process emotions, without making yourself wrong for it.
Consider: What is the long term cost to you for holding back on your personal brilliant ideas?
Knowing and accepting what is real for you, make it a little easier to do the work needed for not allowing your emotions to hold you back.
Reminding yourself of the following thoughts and regularly practicing the actions, will support more of your creative flow:
- Emotions drive behavior.
- Choose to switch your “I should” thoughts to “I want” thoughts:
Before responding to an assignment, remind yourself WHY the task/assignment is IMPORTANT TO YOU. Connect with the positive emotions of the rewards most interesting to you and make it visible in a way that will remind you regularly thereof while working on the project.
- Creativity flows better when you disconnect from feelings of, “If I screw this up…”
- Catch yourself earlier in the process, before getting caught up in a feeling. Noticing the feeling you’re having and what it makes you want to do, without acting on it, is quite possible. Mindfulness training will teach you how to do this.
- Remember that the emotion you are feeling, will change/fade, no matter how strong it feels currently.
- The other person’s viewpoint might have nothing to do with you – don’t take things personally.
- When you feel immense pressure, take some quiet time and learn to say “no” graciously.
- Embrace the fact that you cannot do it all.
- If you’re prone to being always tense and on edge, ensure you unwind regularly. Take advantage of the few quiet moments while waiting for an upload on your computer – breathing consciously, doing a few unnoticeable physical Pilates stretches, or taking a few sips of clean water.
- Improved sleep, diet, and exercise are crucial self care habits – great real foods for your creative brain!
Keep in mind:
Sometimes, what you’re most afraid of doing,
is the very thing that will set you free.