For most of my life, I had to deal with the destructive hidden belief that something was wrong with me and that I was just not good enough.
Not good enough to be on time, neither good enough to be able to do things in “the right way” to achieve my goals nor to be accepted for being myself; neither good enough to fit in comfortably anywhere, nor to be understood – feelings and beliefs that converged into “unlovable and worthless”.
Although funnily, I secretly knew that there was so much more inside of me than what I felt able to make shown. There were also times when I felt I could achieve absolutely anything I wanted to.
But still … I struggled with basic tasks and anxiety and had no idea why. My conclusion was that I just had to try harder. I vaguely remember how I constantly physically ran between points A and B – walking at a fast pace would be such a waste of time! Ironically, I was still running behind schedule most of the time, regardless of how hurried I was or how hard I’ve tried to speed up with completing tasks. Many times I had to work through the night to deliver timely on my commitments.
I had no idea why I got lost in time and minute details or why I could not plan effectively. Prioritising was a meaningless word as if belonging to a foreign language. Everything was important to me – how could I choose?
Stress, more anxiety and frustration were my constant companions. My mind was incessantly busy. It felt like the whole world would come to an end if I should dare to loose out on someone’s approval.
I could not trust myself, how could other people trust me? My inner conversations added to conflict in my most highly valued relationships – marriage and parenting.
Desperately, and mostly subconsciously, I was driven to proof that I was actually OK and good enough. Of course it was draining to the point of deep sadness and depression.
Struggling with practical issues, low energy, emotional ups and downs, feeling divided and thinly stretched between too many highly important issues, every day was tough – although it was not so obvious to others. My mask was perfect, while feelings of being the perfect imposter rooted deeply inside. Stuck in guilt, shame, self criticism and in a “defend-against” space,I held myself back
Thankfully, with age came more effective coping strategies and more wisdom and appreciation for myself, those around me and the world at large.
I came to know that “perfect” is an illusion, and that lingering in the space of being a victim, was violence acted out mostly against myself.
Letting go of shame and resistance became possible with allowing myself to rest in Being.
Reconnected to the voice and source of our own inner knowing, we can trust our own hearts again. This is what gives our lives meaning and joy and ends the search for it outside of ourselves.
Of course I still have struggles, but being able to look at it through the eyes of my heart move me forward towards radical acceptance of myself and the isness of the moment. I am able to rest more in my natural beingness – thus owning my responsibility for creating my own reality and for allowing myself to let my experiences matter to me.
I share these experiences with you, because I came to know that self love and self-compassion, are essential keys for selfcare, causing creative change in everyday life and relationships.
As I discovered that curiosity and the love of learning are some of my natural strengths, it became obvious why I was always interested in education. I had been teaching kindergarten, high school and college students for most of my professional life, It is special to me to be able to transfer knowledge, and even more dear to my heart is the opportunity to educate – beautifully clarified as “to bring forth from beneath that which is already there” – the brilliance and innate magnificence of an individual’s true self.
Being permanently on the look out for opportunities to delve deeper into what’s of interest and meaning to me, Google has blessed me with the contact information forCreative Consciousness International , an ICF (International Coach Federation)accredited coach training program through which I qualified as a Professional and Consciousness Coach®.
This experience was powerfully awakening and transformative and considerably deepened my journey towards allowing myself to show up for living my life in my own authentic way.
Consequently, EntréeCreativeChange was born through compassionate awareness of our species’ need for awakening and transformation and from my vision for “a whole world full of whole people”.
It was when an ADHD diagnosed inspiring young man enrolled for coaching, that I realised strangely familiar information in my search to be of better service to him. Inspired to acquire coach specific ADHD training, I qualified through the ICF accredited training programs of ADDCA (ADD Coach Academy) .
As the fog lifted on ADHD symptoms and its impact on ADDers’ lives, I was bestowed with more and more clarity about my own life experience.
As Professional ADHD and Consciousness Coach, trained by and continuing to learn from the world’s leading authorities on ADHD and ADHD coaching, I am dedicated to serve the ADHD impacted community in the best ways possible.
With deep gratitude I salute every Being on my way – both young and old – who has made, is making and will be making their wholeness and beauty visible through sharing with me their love, care, time, insights, experiences, knowledge and wisdom. Also I want to express with utmost gratitude, that I can declare the honour of parenting our sons as the most humbling, yet most rewarding and fulfilling, experience of my life.
I will continue to devote my energy to be my possible best and passionate advocate for the beauty and magnificence of our true selves.
I am envisioning that my contribution serves more clients
- to get out of their own way
- to shift and expand their consciousness and embodied reconnection
- to bask in their authentic brilliant self expression
- to dissolve the false imposed labels and misinformation about ADHD
- to help understand how his/her unique brain works
- to live life from their natural strengths, reignited passions and what works best for them
- to find realistic and practical possibilities which lead them to progress and personal success, one step at a time
- to be encouraged and inspired
- to flourish in their relationships
- to allow their true selves to emerge without withhold
- to allow the song of their hearts to be heard in our beautiful world.
I am in this for recognising and appreciating the inner glow of your heart through your eyes and on your face.